penciils...

I cherish these pencils, and how incredibly slow they have made my revision and note-taking.

Everything must be in colour!

edit: also note the Pentel Graphgear 1000 on the left!

turtle riiim glasses

I can't believe i spent time on this at 2am in the morning on a friday.




Dead turtle, new glasses, fresh soup.

How to Kill Zombies

I've just uploaded my short film "How to Kill Zombies" onto both my profile on myspace and onto Google Video, and now youTube yay!!!

The video was the result of an assignment for uni, a bunch of free rum, a video camera, a weekend and Pirate Coffee! (1/2 coffee, 1/2 Rum, all pirate!)

I had put off compressing and uploading it for months (well nearly a year) but couldn't procrastinate anymore(maybe a little bit more), so here it is, check it out, and if i get off my fat ass this summer there'll be a sequel, so if you like it let me know.

Also i just ate some pizza and it was good, i'm happy now :)

Alan.

Secret Piirate! Recipes of the Luftwaffe...

For the modern pirate cooking has essentially evolved into an orgasm of spicing and slicing, before embarking on a bold new day on the seven seas its important to start the day right, some smoked salmon, eggs benedict, and possibly some port.
But sadly many modern pirates don't even use their swords for food preparation anymore, and of those that do too often fill their scabbards with scraps by failing to wipe their blade before resheathing, this has resulted in many badly infected wounds from the innocents on the other end of the pointy bit. its just not proffesional, a clean sword is a common courtesy.
This is disgraceful and really must stop. with the right attitude there is nothing a pirate in a galley can't do.
And Redbeard there is to a place for firearms in the kitchen.

case iin point...

This is a specimen jar full of tiny rubber chickens.
Their names are harriet, jordy and puck.

They are registered on Jobseek, australias permiere employment agent.

No i do not have too much time on my hands.

Don't hiide goldfish under rocks...

underneath the rocks is my second golfish, 'salmon' he was a fighetr but true to goldfish form couldn't ever quite get to grips with the whole "don't get stuck under rocks" issue.
Excavation continues and would the owner of a red volkswagon, number plate 'QT BTL' please contact us regarding the appropriate insurance procedures.

Bang-Cow iin little china...

This is a Bang-Cow, Bang-Cows are one of the few weapons found to be truly effective against machine elves, discovered in the late 20th century they quickly became a staple tool used by time travlers to prevent theft of equipment and personal injury as a result of the machine elf menace.
Their effectiveness stems from the fact that they can disable machine elves while not destroying the fabric of the universe.
Don't leave time without one.

Where iis John Connor...

Going to a kids house and seeing two of his toys attempt to fight each other is surreal. You really need to ask yourself why, of all the things to give 'any' amount of 'intelligence' to, why, sweet zombie jesus a mechanical raptor?

Sleepiing with the fishes, see?...

People read that bloody DaVinci code book and then all of a sudden they're in the middle of some conspiracy and they try proving that their brother was intervening in the modern bloodline of Jesus Christ and trying to use the offspring as a plant in the pentagon...

This was my little sister, Juju, she should have kept her heretic mouth shut.

Machiine elves do it faster...

If a machine elf stops dancing the fabric of the universe comes undone, this is what killed off the dinosaurs. after machine elves killed the dinosaurs they drank Pirate Cordial which is a special type of drink drunk purely for its alcohol content. the recipe for pirate cordial was found in the head elves backyard while trying to bury an unsuccseful goat transplant recipient.

This is a picture of a machine elf, godzilla and a goat.

The goats name is Mooncheese.